this is my promise to you

And this was your reply.

No promises.

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Force Majeure

Faithful and true.
Loyal to a fault.
Played by the rules.
Sacrificial lamb.
I let it all slide.

Doubts and lies.
My faith you have lost.
You never had faith in me.
Now I play the game.
By my own rules.

A raging storm has been building
Moment by moment
Lie after lie.

This phoenix will rise
Like a dragon.
The wolves will howl for
My return.

……force majeure.

B.S.

Rage has no fukin definition to express my sentiments at this moment. Stone cold fukin rage if that is even a feeling. I can feel the core of rage centering within in me. The storm is here. The Black storm.

Angels be with me tonight.
Angels be with me tonight.

Bracing myself for the fall.

They say when someone has an accident everything goes in slow motion. Their life passes before their eyes. But that occurs when an accident happens not when you are waiting for the accident to happen.

The end of a relationship is an accident waiting to happen. I know mine is coming. I also know I’m not the cause of it, she is. I also know I will be the only one hurt.

I see our past 363 days together slowly passing before my eyes. I am trying my damnest to keep what we have from falling apart but …..she’s gone. I can sense it in her demeaner, in her attitude towards me, in her words, her replies, what she says, how she says it, what she says and what she doesn’t. Her emotions, her attitude, her excuses.

Its a slow death of which she is killing me. She wants me to end it so she can walk away blaming me for our relationship’s
demise. Rest her conscience and alleviate the guilt of breaking my heart.  Destroying all that could have been simply cause she didn’t have faith in me.